HOW TO SURVIVE DIFFICULT TIMES
Why So Many of Us Feel Braced for Rejection
The theme of people’s mental health lately is this: disapproval, blame, rejection.
So many of us are walking around bracing ourselves for it. Afraid of being misunderstood. Afraid of being judged. Afraid of doing the wrong thing and being cast out for it.
We avoid the pain of disapproval at all costs. We twist ourselves into shapes that feel more acceptable. We stay quiet when we want to speak. We shrink when we want to expand. We sit in the shadows.
What I want you to know is that the more rooted in love you are, the more resistance and defiance you will meet. So expect it. Allow it. Continue to shine your light, even in your darkest days, despite the obstacles that may arise.
The question isn’t, “How do I avoid the darkness?” The question is, “Am I stuck in this mess, or am I lifting myself up as love and light for all to see?”
Are you a buoy or a beacon?
Light and Darkness Exist Together
There is no scenario in life where we only experience light. Light exists in contrast to darkness; in tandem with it. This is the universal truth of balance. We cannot demand a world of perfect agreement, perfect kindness, perfect understanding. It doesn’t exist.
What does exist is choice.
What You Can Actually Control
Our own energy and how we use it are the only things fully within our control. We cannot control other people’s projections, fears, or discomfort. But we can choose whether to buy into their fear, or stay anchored in our own integrity.
Wherever you choose, there you are.
If I am doing right by myself, aligned with my values, tending my spirit, caring for my body and my relationships - that becomes the antidote to rejection and blame. I am responsible for my own happiness. No one else.
Avoiding Unnecessary Suffering
The best thing we can do right now is avoid unnecessary suffering. Do not buy the fear. Look for the light.
That doesn’t mean bypassing pain. The first step is awareness. We must become aware of the pain in ourselves and in the world around us. Denial keeps us stuck.
Awareness, Feeling, and Action
Once we are aware, we need to feel it. Sit with it. Breathe through it. Allow the grief, the anger, the fear to move through our bodies instead of calcifying inside of us.
Then, and only then, we can take action.
When you are stuck in suffering, taking action will always shift your state. Even if that action is as small as placing one hand on your heart and breathing deeply for thirty seconds. Action interrupts stagnation.
Community as a Survival Tool
This is why I offer a monthly Women’s Group. This is why I created JoyLab. This is why we are holding a Men’s Retreat. These are spaces where people can step into what is within their sphere of control: their healing, their awareness, their courage.
The more people who choose peace internally, the more the collective energy changes. That’s not naïve, that’s just how energy works. We co-create the atmosphere we live in.
The Formula for Surviving Difficult Times
So how do we survive during difficult times?
We get aware.
We feel the pain.
We take aligned action.
We refuse to surrender our spirit to fear.
We rise. Always.
Rachel Gordon, MA, MEd, is a psychotherapist and founder of Humble Warrior Therapy, where she supports individuals in the Denver area with heart-centered, trauma-informed care.
